


i know it's dumb

by honeyklee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Niki | Nihachu, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:55:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyklee/pseuds/honeyklee
Summary: after wilbur hears about niki's girlfriend- yes, he's happy for her. he acknowledges niki and himself didn't work out like he wanted them to. but he still wished for a day they would be together. an accident turns almost fatal but phil is there to comfort will in his time of need.//mature rating because of graphic self harm & accidental suicide attempt.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	i know it's dumb

**Author's Note:**

> big warning for the graphic self harm !! & suicide attempt

wilbur heaved next to the toilet, emptying his stomach of his lunch that he had just an hour ago. an hour ago, before niki told him. an hour ago, before niki tweeted it. an hour ago, before niki broke his heart. an hour ago, before his world collapsed.

he felt disgusting as his vomit's stench filled up the bathroom he was in. wilbur flushed the toilet and sprayed some crappy perfume in the bathroom to try and get rid of that horrid smell. it was suffocating, he couldn't understand how some people could intentionally do this to themselves. although he wasn't one to judge, he erratically harmed himself whenever things went moderately wrong.

his mouth felt sore, dry and gross, he washed his mouth out but even then it didn't change the awful taste. he took some hard candy hoping it'd help, and it sort of did but the lingering feeling of vomit all over his throat was still there. finally standing up, he looked down at the counter remembering exactly why he came in here. wilbur came in here to punish himself for being so dumb, to punish himself for falling in love with any person who is the friendliest to him. to punish himself for falling in love when he already knew no person in their right mind would love someone like himself.

the horizontal slices down his arm are long and deep unlike usual. he felt obligated to make the cuts painful- wilbur felt horrible for experiencing euphoria upon each shot of searing pain. he was supposed to feel pain, not be happy about it. his sharp kitchen knife was one hell of a cutter though. he used razor blades before but now he preferred knives as they were riskier to play with but delivered a better result. he noticed a large amount of blood oozing from his wounds but paid no mind to that as all he was focusing on was the pain he was going through.

he lost space on his arm, so he decided that it was probably enough. the cuts could probably be opened fully via fingers, but he refrained from doing so because it would most likely result in him having to go to the hospital- and as a fairly famous youtuber and twitch streamer, wilbur couldn't risk being recognized in that kind of area. another fear is being forced to go into therapy or a mental hospital as the worst outcome.

only after the euphoria went down, did he notice how deep and strong he went inside his delicate skin. almost the entire surface of his arm was covered in blood and it was fairly grotesque. his previous cutting sessions weren't this bad as he remembered them being. his anxiety rose as he noticed the wounds could barely stop bleeding. wilbur frantically pressed down and applied as much pressure as he could with a towel, but it was difficult to hold it that long or that strong for a long period of time due to the blood that he was losing.

not knowing what else to do, he reached for his phone, calling phil as he was currently nearby. phil answered with haste. as soon as he answered, wilbur started talking.

"please, fuck, p-please phil come to my house please, i need help, please. i'm in the bathroom, please hurry." wilbur's voice was nothing like usual. his voice was raggedy, breathy and teary. 

"what happened? i'm on my way, stay on the line."

wilbur swiftly explained what happened, which only caused phil to run faster. phil was doing his best to comfort him through the phone.

he could hear the door quickly opening and phil rushing inside his house to get to the bathroom. as soon as phil saw wilbur sitting on his bathroom floor, blood all over his arm, the colour drained from his face as he did his best to not only stay calm himself but to also calm down wilbur who was struggling to stay conscious.

"oh god wilbur, i- i have to call an ambulance." phil stammered, knowing wilbur didn't like going to the hospital but there was no other solution. wilbur's face was filled with regret and nervousness, to which phil said it'll be fine and went on to call an ambulance. the sirens approached- getting louder and louder as only a few minutes passed. wilbur almost fell unconscious a few times but phil did his best to keep him awake. the medical crew rushed in to get wilbur, phil following swiftly behind.

they went to the hospital, wilbur falling unconscious during the ride. they took care of his arm and he was put in a bed for a while, phil constantly by his side. he didn't tell anyone as wilbur hadn't given him permission. he stuck close by wilbur, holding his safe hand.

a few hours passed before wilbur woke up. phil was excited and called the doctor to check in on him, and after that phil hugged him tightly, wilbur returning the hug.

"wilbur i'm glad you're better now, but i'm concerned." phil sat back down, a pang of worry written all over his face.

"i'm sorry for scaring you like that phil, it was.. it was an accident. i accidentally went too far."

"but why?"

"huh?"

"why did you hurt yourself in the first place?"

wilbur's anxiety shot through the roof as he remembered why he almost killed himself in the first place.

"i-i... i.. you k-know what was on t-twitter this morning?"

"yeah?"

"yeah.. that's why."

"oh wilbur..." phil looked into his eyes, saddened. wilbur looked away violently.

"i know it's dumb-"

"it's not. love is a difficult thing to get over. but you have to understand sometimes it just isn't meant to be. and that's okay. you'll be fine even without a romantic partner, even without niki."

"...thank you."

"no problem will, i love ya bud."

"love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> as always not very long but thats what you get from me 👍 hope you liked it


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